Crazy Train
by SevereTireDamage11
Summary: Rachel Berry has just left Ohio. Her fiance put her on a train to follow her dream in New York, but everything is not as it seems. Something happens, and everyone on the train is in grave danger. Rachel calls everyone back home for help, but will they be able to stop the train in time? Join her and the New Directions in a musical journey taking place after the season finale.
1. Chapter 1

**I saw this interview with Darren Criss (Blaine) where they asked him what he wanted to happen in season four. This story is his answer.**

** Crazy Train: A Rachel Berry Story.**

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Rachel Berry was in hysterics. She was on a train bound for New York, something she had been dreaming about for as long as she could remember. Then why was she so upset? Oh that's right. Her fiancé just broke up with her... kind of. Its complicated. Rachel knew she and Finn would always be together, so she shoved all thoughts of the past out her mind for the moment and just thought of the present.

She had never been on a train before. Besides that one time in, but no one counted that time. She chose to suppress that memory. Though this was her "first" time on a train, she was fairly certain that the train should not be going this fast. Looking around her train car, she saw that there were three young muffin children and fifty- four senior citizens. She sneezed, and it almost caused her to pee her pants. She decided to run to the bathroom.

Rachel snuck through the car, trying to sneak by and not disturb anyone. She finally got to the nearest bathroom which was right outside the engine.

It was the bumpiest tinkle Rachel Berry ever took.

The train shook uncontrollably and by now, Rachel knew the train was going much too fast. She planned to ask the conductors what the problem was. She was Rachel Berry, gosh danget, and she needed to know the conductors were competent.

She walked through the door to the engine and was shocked at what she found.

She wasn't surprised so much at the fact that the two conductors were dead. _Of course they're dead. Why wouldn't they be dead?_ She thought. Then she realized that no one was driving the train. Instead of doing the right thing, which would be going to find someone else who worked on the train, she decided to call Blaine. _I'm pretty sure he took an enginering class at some point._ She thought. This was her thought process.

"Hey, hey Razzle Berray!" Blaine said through the phone.

"Blaine, I need your help."

"Sure, what's wrong?" he asked, sensing the panic in her voice.

"Blaine both of the conductors are dead," Rachel cried. "and I don't know how to stop the train!"

Blaine just laughed. "good one, Rach." he was only answered with sobs from the other line. "oh my god, Rachel are you serious?"

"Yes! Please! I need your help!" she sobbed.

"What is it?" Rachel heard Kurt ask.  
"It's a phone," Blaine laughed. Suddenly the line went dead. Rachel stared at her phone in disbelief. The phone began to ring again.

"Blaine, I'm really glad that you're taking this as a joke..." Rachel cried.

"No, I'm sorry. I just said something surprising and funny so NATURALLY Kurt and I had to start making out."

"BLAINE. I DON'T CARE. JUST HELP ME! PLEASE I'M SO SCARED." Rachel sobbed.

"Okay. So... I took an enginering class. Now do the conductors know what's going on?"

Oh my God. Why did she call Blaine? Why? She decided she needed a man. Men knew how to drive trains. She needed man advice. She dialed the number in her phone while still keeping Blaine on the line.

"Hello?" Beiste answered.

"Coach, I really need your help because I'm on a train and Blaine just made out with Kurt and-"

Beast cut the rambling Rachel off. "Whoa whoa. What's the problem?"

"BOTH THE CONDUCTORS ARE DEAD AND I CAN'T STOP THE TRAIN!"

"WHAT?!" Beiste yelled, startling her lunch dates, Sue and Will.

"Rachel, it's Mercedes." obviously Mercedes had taken the phone from Blaine in the attempt to find out what the problem was.

"Oh hey Mercedes, it's Beiste."

"OHHHH heeeeey guuurl"

"I NEED HELP!" Rachel yelled.

"Okay. Sugar, Rory, Sam, Quinn, and Joe are here. The other half of the New Directions are at Blimpies." Mercedes said. "I think Puck might know something. I'll call him."

"Thank you!" cried Rachel.

"Wait, we're at Blimpies too!" Beiste said, excited. She looked behind her table, and sure enough, there were half of the New Directions eating sandwiches.

"OH MY GOD SMALL WORLD!" Beiste said, waving.

"HEY GUYS!" Artie called.

Beiste, Sue, and Will all got up and walked towards the teenagers.

Suddenly, Pucks phone rang. "Hello?"

Pucks face went from a very happy expression to one of horror. "Rachel I don't know how to drive a train!" he said sadly.

Rachel just started crying even harder.

"Who is it?" Tina asked Puck.

"Everyone grab your sandwiches. We have to take this outside." The mohawked man said.

Everyone got up and followed Puck outside, confused. He put the phone on speaker. They all heard a crying Rachel and Quinn trying to calm her.

"EVERYONE IS HERE." Puck yelled. "DOES ANYONE KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT TRAINS?!"

It was silent.

Out of nowhere, Everyone heard Kurts beautiful voice.

_All aboard! Hahaha_

_Crazy, but that's how it goes_  
_Millions of people living as foes_  
_Maybe. it's not too late_  
_To learn how to love, and forget how to hate_

And then Blaine started to sing.

_Mental wounds not healing  
Life's a bitter shame_

And everyone but Rachel joined.

_I'm goin' off the rails on a crazy train  
I'm goin' off the rails on a crazy train_

_I've listened to preachers,  
I've listened to fools  
I've watched all the dropouts  
Who make their own rules  
One person conditioned to rule and control  
The media sells it and you live the role_

_Mental wounds still screaming_  
_Driving me insane_  
_I'm goin' off the rails on a crazy train_  
_I'm goin' off the rails on a crazy train_

_I know that things are going wrong for me_  
_You gotta listen to my words, yeah, yeah_

_Heirs of a cold war,_  
_that's what we've become_  
_Inheriting troubles,_  
_I'm mentally numb_  
_Crazy, I just cannot bear_  
_I'm living with something that just isn't fair_

_Mental wounds not healing_  
_Who and what's to blame_  
_I'm goin' off the rails on a crazy train_

_I'm goin' off the rails on a crazy train_

"Yes. Yes that song was the most beautiful thing I've heard all day," Rachel said through the phone. "BUT CAN WE PLEASE FOCUS ON THE PROBLEM AT HAND?!"  
"Sassy," said Tina taking a bite of her sandwich.  
Suddenly the door to the front of the train burst open. In walked Sebastian. _... Sebastian?!_  
"Me gusta!" Sebastian yelled. "I just heard someone singing Crazy Train,"  
"... Sebastian?" Everyone on the other line said in unison.  
"... Sebastian?" Rachel said. "It's nice to see you and all, but I'm in a little bit of a crisis. I don't know if you know this, but the train is out of control and the two conductors are dead."  
"I know, Rachel," Sebastian said.  
"RACHEL?!" Blaine yelled on the phone.  
"Yes?"  
"How ya doin'?"  
Rachel hung up the phone.  
"Why are you on this train?" she asked the Warbler.  
"There's something in New York. Something I can't let _them_ get."  
"What is it?" she asked, Forgetting that no one was driving the train.

"I shouldn't have said anything. Just- Rachel, I have to tell you something..."

"What is it?" she asked skeptically.

"Rachel there's a bomb on the train."

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**Like it? Hate it? Review and let us know!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey! So thanks for reading, guys! Im going to try and post a new chapter every week, but heres chapter two. **

**Crazy Train: Chapter 2**

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Everyone who was previously on the phone with Rachel met in the park outside Blimpies.

"ROLL CALL!" Mr. Shue yelled. "RORY!"

"HERE!"

"JOE!"

"HERE!"

"BLAINE!"

"YEPPIDY DOO-DAH!"

"QUINN!"

"We need to focus on Rachel!" Beiste interrupted

"Fine," Will said. "But if someone's missing, it's your fault!"

"I'm calling Rachel back." Puck informed everyone.

He dialed the number. Three rings past before they heard a voice that was not Rachel's.

"Hello?"

"Can you hand the phone to Rachel, Sebastian?" Mike asked nicely.

"Rachel's... Busy at the moment." Everyone heard a loud sobbing noise in the background. "Yeah I told her about the bomb and she just exploded... Hahaha no pun intended."

"BOMB?" Blaine yelled.

"Is that Blaine?" Sebastian asked.

"...Yeah." Blaine answered.

"Hey Blaine." Sebastian said, turning his sexy on.

"Oh my Gaga can we just focus on the bomb and the runaway train?!" Kurt interrupted.

"Okay. Sebastian, where are you guys?" Sam asked.

"Oh you know," Sebastian said with a smile.

"No. We don't know. Sebastian, I'm not joking, where are you?" Puck asked with a serious face.

"Tell him I said hi," Quinn whispered. For some reason that totally set Tina off. They got into a massive brawl. Tina won.

"Hey guys it's Rachel," came a sobbing voice from the other line.

"HEY RACHEL! THERE'S A BOMB ON THAT TRAIN." Blaine yelled.

"OH MY GOD, BLAINE. DON'T BRING THAT UP." Puck screamed.

Rachel started crying again so Sebastian was on the phone.

"Heyyyy it's me. Sebastian." Sebastian sung.

"WHERE ARE YOU?" Rory yelled.

"Almost out of Iowa."

"I thought we lived in Ohio?" Britney asked.

"Quinn says Hi!" Sugar squeaked.

Then Joe stood up. "guys. There's one answer. We need to pray." Joe pulled out a guitar and started singing.

"_She was driving last Friday on her way to Cincinnati  
On a snow white Christmas Eve  
Going home to see her Mama and her Daddy_  
_With the baby in the backseat_

_Fifty miles to go and she was running low_  
_On faith and gasoline_  
_It'd been a long hard year_

_She had a lot on her mind and she didn't pay attention_  
_She was going way too fast_  
_Before she knew it she was spinning_  
_On a thin black sheet of glass_

_She saw both their lives flash before her eyes_  
_She didn't even have time to cry_  
_She was so scared_  
_She threw her hands up in the air_

_Jesus, take the wheel_  
_Take it from my hands_  
_Cause I can't do this on my own_

_I'm letting go_  
_So give me one more chance_  
_To save me from this road I'm on_  
_Jesus, take the wheel_

_It was still getting colder when she made it to the shoulder_  
_And the car came to a stop_  
_She cried when she saw that baby in the backseat_  
_Sleeping like a rock_

_And for the first time in a long time_  
_She bowed her head to pray_  
_She said I'm sorry for the way_  
_I've been living my life_

_I know I've got to change_  
_So from now on tonight_

_Jesus, take the wheel_  
_Take it from my hands_  
_Cause I can't do this on my own_

_I'm letting go_  
_So give me one more chance_  
_To save me from this road I'm on_

_Oh Jesus, take the wheel_  
_Oh, I'm letting go_

_So give me one more chance_  
_Save me from this road I'm on_  
_From this road I'm on_  
_Jesus, take the wheel_  
_Oh, take it, take it from me_  
_Oh, why, ohhhh"_

"Thanks for the prayer," Quinn said. "I'm better."

"My grandpa was a fire fighter," Blaine said.

"Blaine, if you keep talking, I'm going to be so stressed that my hair's gonna start falling out." Kurt said rudely.

"Guys, there's a bomb on this train. Also, no one knows how to drive a train. I'm sorry I just can't bring myself to pray," Rachel said crying.

"You can always find time to pra-"

"Wait a second, what if there is someone who knows how to drive the train?" Puck said interrupting Joe.

"What do you mean?" asked Rachel.

"Have you asked around? I mean don't scare anyone, but you never know, maybe someone on the train has experience in driving." Puck said.

"That's a great idea," Rachel and Quinn said together.

Rachel picked up the microphone and turned it on.

"Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen. My name is Rachel Berry. I'm sure some of you have heard of me." she paused here to listen and see if anyone started cheering her name. "Anyways, I want you to know that everything is going fine. The conductors are fine... So... Does anyone know how to drive a train?" Rachel asked. Suddenly everyone on the train FREAKED OUT.

Puck had heard all this over the phone, and when the passengers started screaming he walked away.

"FINE. JUST GO AHEAD AND LEAVE, PUCK! THE HOBBITS MOST LIKELY GONNA DIE." Santana Screamed.

"Puck left?!" Rachel cried.

"Yeah but you still got me, and I'm a Latina so you're good."

"Oh okay..." and Rachel started hyperventilating.

"Don't worry, guys. I got this." Sebastian said confidently. He picked up the microphone. "Hello this is your conductor speaking. If everyone could settle down, please. You see, we have something we call 'conductor camp'. This is where we offer anyone with a history of trains a chance to come up to the front, and we will the have a thrilling conversation. Now everyone please stay in your seats AND DO NOT GET UP." he turned off the microphone. "There, see? Problem solved."

"I want to go to conductor camp." Blaine whined.

"OHHHH BLAINE JUST TEXTED ME!" Quinn squealed

"No I didn't!" Blaine yelled. "My phone's... Hey where's my phone?"

"Guys, I think Puck jacked Blaine's phone..." Quinn said. "

"What makes you say that?" Kurt asked.

"Because the text says 'Blaine, nobody cares about your wishes. Love, puck.'" Quinn read.

"Hey Brit," Santana said. "Aren't you with State Farm?"

"... Yes?" she responded.

"RACHEL!" Santana yelled into the phone, even though she was holding it in her hand.

"OH MY GOD WHAT?" Rachel asked.

"ARE YOU WITH STATE FARM?"

"... Yes, of course I am! Who isn't?"

"THE JINGLE. DO THE JINGLE." Sebastian said.

"NO SEBASTIAN." Santana said annoyed. "But I do know how we can help you."

"Like a good neighbor, STATE FARM IS THERE!" Rachel , Nothing happened.

"I told you," Said Santana. "Commercials lie."

"Okay well how can you help me?" Rachel desperately asked.

"Rachel, do exactly as I say." demanded the Latina.

"okay!" she sobbed.

"First thing you gotta do is... NOT NOW BRITTNAY!" Santana yelled. Suddenly the line went fuzzy.

"We're in a tunnel by the looks of it," Sebastian chimed in.

"Oh god. Everything bad always happens in tunnels!" She cried

"Do you really believe all those old train movies?"

"I SEE LIGHT AHEAD! AHA! WE'RE GONNA LIVE THROUGH THIS OBSTACLE!" Rachel shouted with joy. "FINN COME LOOK-" then Rachel began to cry. Not only was this poor girl going to die, but she was going to die without the person she loved the most. In situations where you're probably going to die, it's nice to have that person. But Rachel would never know that.

Sugars high voice signaled the phone was working again. Rachel tried to say something, but she was silenced when someone hit her on the head.

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**So everyone Review please! I really want to know what you think!**


	3. Chapter 3

**So yes this story will be continued, we've just been really busy lately. Sorry for the long wait, but heres the next chapter!**

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"Rachel hung up..." Quinn whispered.

"Maybe she just went through a tunnel?" Blaine asked.

"Don't be stupid, Blaine!" Sue yelled.

"Guys, I think we should pray for Rachel again-"

"PUT ON SOME SHOES, JOE!" yelled Tina.

And then everyone started screaming at each other.

Quinn: "RACHEL COULD BE DEAD!"

Joe: "JESUS TAKE THE WHEEEL!"

Santana: ...well she was just yelling in Spanish.

Blaine: "DUMBLEDORE WOULDNT LET THIS HAPPEN!"

Rory: "SOMEONE STOLE ME LUCKY CHARMS!"

"EVERYONE SHUT UP!" This voice rose above all others.

It was Puck.

"What, did you feel bad that you stole my phone?!" Blaine asked, clearly hurt.

"No." Puck said. "I just don't think Rachel's in a tunnel. Oh, by the way, Rory, there's some kids over there with your lucky charms. Joe, there's a protest for animal rights going on a block over."

Rory immediately took off running. Joe wanted to stay, but you know him and animal rights...

"I WILL RETURN." Joe yelled before he took off.

"All right, there's no protest and no troublesome kids, but the information I'm about to reveal is not for the faint hearted, and let's face it, Joe and Rory have the faintest of hearts here," Puck said.

"So what's the news?" asked Kurt.

"Well, I was a bit perturbed by the fact that Sebastian was on the train with her... But that's not the point."

"What is the point?" Sue asked.

"I asked around and apparently it was a last minute decision made by Sebastian to get on this train."

"You did all that in the short amount of time that you were gone?" Mike asked.

"Yeah I have a fast car."

"So it was a last minute decision? That doesn't mean anything to us." Blaine said annoyed.

"Okay we're gonna leave. Blaine's talking again." Kurt said waving and dragging Blaine away.

"Nooooo Kurt I wanna staaaaaay!" The dapper boy whined.

"Fine. But try not to speak." Kurt suggested.

"Blaine's right though. What does that mean?" Tina asked.

"GOSH TINA. IT MEANS THAT HE KILLED THE CONDUCTORS." Artie yelled.

"I never realized he was that kind of person..." Beiste said.

"Do you even know who Sebastian is?" Puck asked.

"No."

* * *

Rachel awoke tied to a chair. "Finn?" she called. "FINN! HELP!"

"He can't hear you, Rachel." A voice said.

"Who are you?" She yelled, trying to break free.

A man walked out of the darkness in front of Rachel. He was wearing casual clothes, but his face was covered by a Darth Vader mask.

"Are you my father?!" Rachel gasped.

"No, Rachel. This is just the only thing I could find that would disguise my voice and cover my face."

"Oh, okay... Are you Sebastian?" She asked hopefully.

"No, Im over here!" Sebastian said. Rachel looked over to see the Warbler tied up as well.

"Hi Sebastian."

"Hi Rachel."

"So you're tied up too?"

"Yes."

"Smoke on the water."

"Fire in the sky." Sebastian agreed.

Rachel started humming.

"Stop humming, please." Darth Vader said.

"Sorry. What can I do?" Rachel asked.

"You can FaceTime Kurt."

"But, I'm tied up."

"All right I'll untie you and then you will FaceTime Kurt." Darth Vader said, undoing the ropes. After the ropes were off, Rachel kicked Darth right on the helmet.

"OW. OH MY GOD. WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?!" Darth Vader yelled.

"You tied me up!" Rachel said.

"Yeah but... That really hurt! Ow!"

Rachel took advantage of the situation and untied Sebastian. "Let's go!" he said.

They ran out of the room and into a hallway, with Darth Vader still recovering. Sebastian slammed the door. It was obvious they were still on the train as walking was almost impossible.

"What now?" she asked.

"We need to FaceTime Kurt," Sebastian said.

"Oh my God guys! Rachel's trying to FaceTime me!" Kurt shrieked, clapping his tiny woman hands.

"Well, ANSWER IT." Puck yelled. Puck knows. "But don't mention Sebastian. We have to wait for the right time."

Rachel's face appeared on the small Apple product.

"OHHHHH MA GAWD. HEY GIRL HEY! CAN YOU SEE ME?!" Blaine yelled.

"Yes, hi Blaine." Rachel said.

"HIIIIII BLAINE!" Sebastian screamed.

"Shhhhhh. Sebastian, did you forget that we're being chased by a mad man in a Darth Vader helmet?" Rachel whispered.

"Rachel, are you okay?" Sam asked. Artie just glared at him.

"Yeah. Now I am." she answered breathlessly.

"I'm fine too!" Sebastian added.

Everyone just stared at each other. They didn't like the idea of not telling Rachel about Sebastian, but they didn't like the idea of Puck murdering them either.

"Wait- Darth Vader?" Mike asked.

"It's a long story." she said.

"We have to hide." Sebastian said, paranoid.

"Where?!" Rachel whispered.

"RACHEL. RACHEL ITS BLAINE." The curly haired boys face appeared on the tiny screen.

"What do you want, Blaine?" Rachel demanded.

"Ive seen this movie before. The crazy masked man will recover and chase after you in about four seconds." Blaine estimated.

"Blaine that's completely ridiculous-" Quinn was cut off by Rachels scream.

"RACHEL! RACHEL ARE YOU OKAY?!" Mr. Shue was screaming at the phone.

"Yeah, sorry." She responded. "I was just having a flashback. "

"Rachel...?" Blaine asked. He was wearing a completely new bowtie.

"Did you just re-bowtie yourself?" Puck asked.

"It's a new app he got." Kurt said.

"QUINN! QUINN ARE YOU THERE?" Rachel yelled.

"Yeah. What's up buttercup?" Quinn asked.

"I have an incoming call from... Finn."

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**Ohhh my goodness. **

**Please review! We really want to know what you think of this! **


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